Showing posts with label Jokes and Sms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes and Sms. Show all posts
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
New Jokes English Hindia 2012
A line written on a Husband's T shirt :
ALL GIRLS ARE DEVIL BUT MY WIFE IS QUEEN..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
OF THEM..:-P
---------------------------------------------------
Make Sure That In Search Of A Perfect Person
You Don't Loose A True One,
Because
Perfection Is Fantasy
&
Truth Is Reality
----------------------------------------------------
It's Sad When You Have Already
Learned To Be A Part Of Someone's Life
&
You Just End Up Being Strangers!
------------------------------------------------------
Keep smiling
And
One day life will
Get tired of upsetting
You
------------------------------------------------------
Real love is not based on romance,
Candle light dinner
and
walks along the beach.
In fact, it is based on
Respect,
Compromise,
Care
and
Trust
----------------------------------------------------
Three words that can change
A woman's mood for
Almost an entire day:
"Good Morning Sweety / Beautiful"
------------------------------------------------If she's an apple & you're an orange,
celebrate your differences,
celebrate your differences,
Make a great fruit salad
Love isn't about being the same,
It's about being sweet with each other.
It's about being sweet with each other.
-------------------------------------------------
The ability to feel pain
is not a weakness, it's a strength.
is not a weakness, it's a strength.
And those who can endure it, are stronger.
-------------------------------------------------------
A line written on a Husband's T shirt :
ALL GIRLS ARE DEVIL BUT MY WIFE IS QUEEN..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
OF THEM..:-P
ALL GIRLS ARE DEVIL BUT MY WIFE IS QUEEN..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
OF THEM..:-P
-----------------------------------------------------
Two Ladies Fighting For A Seat In A Bus ..
Bus Conductor: The Older One Should Sit Here
Both Looked At Each Other
And The Seat Remained Empty :P
And The Seat Remained Empty :P
------------------------------------
A successful marriage is based
On give & take:
On give & take:
Where husband gives money,
Gifts, dresses n wife takes it
Gifts, dresses n wife takes it
&
Where wife gives advices, lectures,
Tensions & husband takes it..!!
Tensions & husband takes it..!!
-------------------------------------
Visit:
Monday, October 3, 2011
Question and Answers
Q: When did Bourbaki stop writing books?
A: When they realized that Serge Lang was a single person...
Q: What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi!
Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun!
Q: Why do mathematicians, after a dinner at a Chinese restaurant, always insist on taking the leftovers home?
A: Because they know the Chinese remainder theorem!
Teacher: "Who can tell me what 7 times 6 is?"
Student: "It's 42!"
Teacher: "Very good! - And who can tell me what 6 times 7 is?"
Same student: "It's 24!"
Q.1 RAM SITA HAI ... TO RAM KAUN HAI ??
Ans - . TAILOR ( darzi )
==========================================================
Q2. SITA RAM HAI TO SITA KAUN HAI
Ans - . Sita MEMORY hai (RAM: Random Access Memory)
==========================================================
Q3. Harbhajan ask's Kumble to bring a Pepsi... Kumble brings a bottle of Pepsi but goes directly to Shehwag.? Why ?? Why ??
Ans:- Shehwag is an opener
==========================================================
Q5. Who kya hai Jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main nahi?
Ans:- aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!
==========================================================
Q6. What will! U call a person who is leaving India ??
Socho....... ........
Ans:- Hindustan Lever (Leaver).
==========================================================
Q7. Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya tha?
Ans:- Adidas
==========================================================
Q8. Luv and Kush are going to a village & in between comes a well.
Luv falls into the well. Why ?
Ans:- Because Luv is blind!!!!!
==========================================================
Q.9 Now Kush also jumps inside. Why? OK lot's of head scratching done.
Ans:- Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!!
==========================================================
Q 10. Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya hai?.. Nahi pata..??
Ans:- D'Cold chain ki saans
HOPE U LIKE IT !!!!!!!
================================================
Q. Why does a Sardar keep empty beer bottles in his fridge?
A. They are there for those who don t drink.
================================================
Q: What do you get if you put some sugar under your pillow?
A: Sweet dreams!
================================================
Q. What did the Sardar say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
A. "Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"
================================================
Q. What do you call an eternity?
A. Four Sardars in four cars at a four way stop.
================================================
Q. Why do Sardars have TGIF written on their shoes?
A. Toes Go In First.
================================================
Q. What do SMART Sardars and UFO's have in common?
A. You always hear about them but never see them.
================================================
Q. Why did the Sardars stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
A. Because it said concentrate.
Oh look, Daddy...Donut seeds.
================================================
Q. Why do Sardars always smile during lightning storms?
A. They think their picture is being taken.
=========================================
Q. How can you tell when a Sardars sends you a fax?
A. It has a stamp on it.
Q. Why can't Sardars dial 911?
A. They can't find the 11 on the phone!
Friday, August 5, 2011
Question and Answers for SMS or Jokes
Q: When did Bourbaki stop writing books?
A: When they realized that Serge Lang was a single person...
Q: What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi!
Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun!
Q: Why do mathematicians, after a dinner at a Chinese restaurant, always insist on taking the leftovers home?
A: Because they know the Chinese remainder theorem!
Teacher: "Who can tell me what 7 times 6 is?"
Student: "It's 42!"
Teacher: "Very good! - And who can tell me what 6 times 7 is?"
Same student: "It's 24!"
Q.1 RAM SITA HAI ... TO RAM KAUN HAI ??
Ans - . TAILOR ( darzi )
==========================================================
Q2. SITA RAM HAI TO SITA KAUN HAI
Ans - . Sita MEMORY hai (RAM: Random Access Memory)
==========================================================
Q3. Harbhajan ask's Kumble to bring a Pepsi... Kumble brings a bottle of Pepsi but goes directly to Shehwag.? Why ?? Why ??
Ans:- Shehwag is an opener
==========================================================
Q5. Who kya hai Jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main nahi?
Ans:- aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!
==========================================================
Q6. What will! U call a person who is leaving India ??
Socho....... ........
Ans:- Hindustan Lever (Leaver).
==========================================================
Q7. Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya tha?
Ans:- Adidas
==========================================================
Q8. Luv and Kush are going to a village & in between comes a well.
Luv falls into the well. Why ?
Ans:- Because Luv is blind!!!!!
==========================================================
Q.9 Now Kush also jumps inside. Why? OK lot's of head scratching done.
Ans:- Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!!
==========================================================
Q 10. Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya hai?.. Nahi pata..??
Ans:- D'Cold chain ki saans
HOPE U LIKE IT !!!!!!!
================================================
Q. Why does a Sardar keep empty beer bottles in his fridge?
A. They are there for those who don t drink.
================================================
Q: What do you get if you put some sugar under your pillow?
A: Sweet dreams!
================================================
Q. What did the Sardar say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
A. "Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"
================================================
Q. What do you call an eternity?
A. Four Sardars in four cars at a four way stop.
================================================
Q. Why do Sardars have TGIF written on their shoes?
A. Toes Go In First.
================================================
Q. What do SMART Sardars and UFO's have in common?
A. You always hear about them but never see them.
================================================
Q. Why did the Sardars stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
A. Because it said concentrate.
Oh look, Daddy...Donut seeds.
================================================
Q. Why do Sardars always smile during lightning storms?
A. They think their picture is being taken.
=========================================
Q. How can you tell when a Sardars sends you a fax?
A. It has a stamp on it.
Q. Why can't Sardars dial 911?
A. They can't find the 11 on the phone!
Sardar jokes
Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India ..
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .
*****************************************************************
2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.
*****************************************************************
Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.
*****************************************************************
Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
*****************************************************************
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
*****************************************************************
Sardar: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! '
*****************************************************************
NOW THE LAST TWO ULTIMATE:
In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
*****************************************************************
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.
Latest Funny Jokes and Sardar Jokes
Gang of SARDARS broke a Bank.
Instead of cash they found Botles full of Chilled Red Wine,
Happily they drank & went away.
Next day Headline aai: Blood Bank lutya gya.
**************************************
Ek dafa sardar ne bank se lon lekar car khrid lya but bank ka lon wapas na kar saka.
magar Bank walo ne car wapas lalya.
Sardar:agar pata huta to shadi be bank ke lon se karta.
**************************************
Ek Sardar ne ek bachy se pucha k tum ko A,B,C Aaty hai to bachy ne keha k mujy 9 tak aty hia..
Sardar ne bachy se keha k oyee Ullu k pathy 9 A,b,c main nahe aata. yeh to Alif,, Be,,Main ata hai:
**************************************
Ek chor Sardar ka mobile le kar bagh gyia.
Dost: wo tumara mobile le kar bagh gyia or tm hanas rahe ho,
Sardar: bagne do charger tu mere pass hai.
**************************************
1st sardar yeah bacha tumhara kia lagta hai
2nd sardar:yeah mera door ka bhai hai
2nd sardar:door ka mein samjha nahin
sardar:iss k orr mere beech 8 behan bhai orr hai
Resources-:
Instead of cash they found Botles full of Chilled Red Wine,
Happily they drank & went away.
Next day Headline aai: Blood Bank lutya gya.
**************************************
Ek dafa sardar ne bank se lon lekar car khrid lya but bank ka lon wapas na kar saka.
magar Bank walo ne car wapas lalya.
Sardar:agar pata huta to shadi be bank ke lon se karta.
**************************************
Ek Sardar ne ek bachy se pucha k tum ko A,B,C Aaty hai to bachy ne keha k mujy 9 tak aty hia..
Sardar ne bachy se keha k oyee Ullu k pathy 9 A,b,c main nahe aata. yeh to Alif,, Be,,Main ata hai:
**************************************
Ek chor Sardar ka mobile le kar bagh gyia.
Dost: wo tumara mobile le kar bagh gyia or tm hanas rahe ho,
Sardar: bagne do charger tu mere pass hai.
**************************************
1st sardar yeah bacha tumhara kia lagta hai
2nd sardar:yeah mera door ka bhai hai
2nd sardar:door ka mein samjha nahin
sardar:iss k orr mere beech 8 behan bhai orr hai
Resources-:
SMS Jokes
Amazing(GK) information:
Amazing(GK) information:
The letters A, B, C and D,
do not appear in the spellings of 1 TO 99.
The D appears 1st time in HUNDRED.
‘A’ appears
1st time in THOUSAND.
‘B’ appears
1st time in BILLION.
‘C’ appears
1st time in CRORE.
Sachin Tendulkar
“I want my son to become Sachin Tendulkar.” -Brian Lara(WI)
”V did not lose 2 a team called India, v lost 2 a man called Sachin” – Mark Taylor(aus)
‘Nothing bad can happen 2 us if v were on a plane in India wit Sachin Tendulkar on it.”-Hashim Amla(SA)
”He can play that leg glance with a walking stick also.-Waqar Younis(Pak)
”There r 2 kind of batsman in the world. 1 Sachin Tendulkar and 2. all the others .-Andy Flower(ZIM)
“I have seen God. He bats at no.4 for India in tests.-Matthew Hayden(AUS.)
“I c myself when i c Sachin batting.-Don Bradman(AUS)
“Do your crime when Sachin is batting, bcos even God is busy watching his batting. -Australian Fan
Barack Obama – “I don’t know about cricket but still I watch cricket to see Sachin play..Not b’coz I love his play
its b’coz I want to know the reason why my country’s production goes down by 5 percent when he’s in batting”…
its b’coz I want to know the reason why my country’s production goes down by 5 percent when he’s in batting”…
Maths mein gali dene ke tarike
Maths ki “ladki” gaali kaise degi- “sale dharti ki unsolvd equation trignometry k undefind angle itna difrentiate krungi zindgi m kabi integrate nhi hoga..
Ldka-hum bhi e ki power x h jo marzi kr le.
Ldka-hum bhi e ki power x h jo marzi kr le.
Arrested for laughing!
Arrested for laughing!A young woman who was several months pregnant was sittin in a bus.
When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition.
She changed her seat and he seemed more amused.
She moved again and then on seeing him laughin more she filed a court case on him.
In the court the Man’s defence was:
When the lady boarded the bus I could’t help noticing she was pregnant.
She sat under an advertisement which read ‘Coming soon – the unknown boon’
I was even more amused when she then sat under a shaving advertisement which read: ‘William’s stick did the trick’
Then I couldn’t control myself any longer, when on the third move she sat under an advertisement which read: ‘Dunlop rubber would have prevented this accident’.
The case was dismissed and judge laughed 2 death.
Think u r sitting in front of computer..
Think u r sitting in front of computer,what computer will think, U Know…..?
‘intel inside’ ‘mental outside’
HA…HA…HA.,
Wait don’t laugh,
joke is not over,
U R standing in front of fridge,what fridge will think u know…?
‘cool inside fool outside’
now laugh
HA…HA…HA…!
Sometimes, my mind asks. Why
Sometimes, my mind asks. Why I miss you? Why I care for you? Why I remember you? Why I text you? Then my heart answered, Mongoloids need more care! Hehehe. Now, you’re smiling! =)Press Down if u think u
Press Down if u think u r MAD. I can’t Believe u Did That! Again? For God Sake! LORD!! Why u Still Doing it? Truth is out now! MENTAL CASE!!Your network tariff
Your network tariff has changed! Call charges are now calculated according to brain size. The smaller the cheaper! Congrats You can make free calls!I saw U on ROAD
I saw U on ROAD today. U were lukin SO fine, Ur face SO divine, Ur walk SO perfect. My HEART started singing a Sweet Song: WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!Have u seen a monkey wrapped
Have u seen a monkey wrapped in plastic? No??? Quickly see your driving license.Two devils came
Two devils came in 2 my dreams. They said-We want 2 disturb some good person. I suggest them ur name. They said -We cannot disturb our boss.You are lovely…
You=lovely You=perfect You=beautiful You=amazing You=sweet You=cute You=genius You=fantastic You=fabulous Me=liarMonday, April 18, 2011
Jokes and SMS: Second 21- 40 SMS
Dedicated to my all friends who sent me these cute sms
21. “everybody tells, mistake is the 1st step of success bt;
It is not trueJ
The correction of mistake is the first step of success”JJJ
22.dil hua zakhmi magar kissi ko khabar Nahi
meri chahto ka uspe koi asar Nahi,
Ho K juda tum se koi mar Jayega, sunk usne kaha ye koi badi khabr nahi
23 eart touching lines by smoker:
“I trust cigarettes more than girls because
I’m ready to damage my lungs but not my heart.
24 D person who cares 4 U a lot
vl always do 2 things XTREMELY 4
u-1st silently CARING n 2nd Openly HURTING 2 mak u PERFECT.
25 very touching line by Shakespeare from his novel
“I am mad for her. But why I am not made for her??”
26.Sometime we wonder
Why friends keep forwarding msg 2 us, de reason is bcoz they have nothing 2 say,
But still want 2 keep in thouch.
27.Girl- where’s my b’day gift?
Boy- you see that red Ferrari on d other side of d road?
Girls(excitingly)- Yees!
Boy-Same color ki nailpolish li hi
Boy always rock!
28.Q dil apko Dekhna chata h?
Q Dil apki bat karta h?
Q Dil apko yad karta h?
Q Dil apko pasand karta h?
Qki
Dil to bccha h ji
Or
Bachho ko CARTOON
Pasand hote h.
29.When u r wrong and u surrender, u r
Honest.
When u r in Doubt and u surrender, u r
Wise.
Bt
When u r right and u surrender, den u r in
‘Love’
30.Height of coolness….!
Two Friends, Finishing the paper,
Coming out of d exam hall,
Having a chilled beer and talking….
1st- “Dude… which paper was it…”
2nd- “May b maths”
1st- “That means, u did the paper..??
2nd-“Nahi yar baju wali item calculator use
Kar rhi thi…”
31. v nevr knw
Y we lik som ppl mor thn othrs..
Y v luv som ppl without reasons y v fee hapy aftr
Being wth sme ppl bcoz
Som relatns hv no explanation!
32.True relations wen u til after a fight tat u don
Was to talk & stil u check ur mobile to c if u hav
A missed cal or a msg!!
Feel d innocence of truchJ
33.Dedicated to all my frnzJ
Kuch yaden yaad rakhna
Kuch baaten yaad rakhan,
Umar bhar hum saath rahe na rhe,
Hum sath the kabhi ye umar bhar
Yad rakhna.
34.Can u read it faster
A my
They my
They they my
My my
they they my
chotta ni he age bado…..
35. We will now upgrade your brain.......Please wait........Searching.......Searching.......Still searching........Sorry, no brain found !!!
36. Your future depends on your dreams - So go to sleep!
37. HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket,the smell is unbearable!!!
38. When you feel lonely, Cheer up! Just go to the mirror and say "Shit! I'm really so cute!" You'll overcome your sadness. But don't make it a habit cause liars go to HELL!
39. Those innocent eyes..Those kissable lips...A great smile...The perfect walk..Smoothest talk...Absolutely gorgeous...Thats enough about me..How are you?
40.UR 100%beautiful UR 100%lovely UR 100%sweet? UR 100%nice??? and UR 100%stupid to believe these words!
Send by Ajay, Sandeep, Manmohan, Arjun, Vipin, Harendra, Shalini, Jannie, Anjali, Himani, Mohit………………..
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Jokes and SMS: First 1- 20 SMS
1 Funny but True:
This generation boys and girls get into love because of misunderstanding!
And They Break up when they understand each other!
2. Life is very complicated. Don’t try to find answers because when u find answers life Changes Questions…” so just enjoy……………….
3.frndship poem 4 u:
Dear o dear, u r nt near, bt I can hear , dnt get fear ur memories r here, live wid cheer, no more tear, u r alwys my dear……………
4.Child luv story
10 sal k bche ki gf sunami m mar gyi wo roj smandr kinare jata, lahre usk pair bhiga jati, wo rota or kehta kitna bi pair chule m maf nhi kruga.
5. Success wil nvr lower its standard 2 accommodate u, u’ve 2 rasise ur
6. advantage of not having lover……
1. Can Sleep well.
2. can save time and money.
3. Now worries abt how I look.
4. No missed calls at mid nyt.
5. No need 2 active 10ps scheme.
6. No need 2 recharg twice a day.
7.Can talk 2 al boys & girls.
SO I PROUD TO BE SINGLE……
7.TIME
HEALTH….
&
RELATION these three tings don’t come with price tag but when v lose them, we realize the cost.
Take care of it.
8.luv story of kids:
“uske kadam jahan jahan pade, humne wo jagah chum li. Aur wo bewafa meri mummy ko ja kar boli, Aunty, apka beta mitti khata hai….!
9. dil chahata hai ap ki dosti me dub jau,
---\(‘,‘)/----
- - - - - - - -
-- -- -- -- --
Oye mujhe bahar nikalo me toh mazak kar rha tha….!!.
10. Boy’s Top 10 lies,
1. I Miss u
2. I am single.
3. mai pehli dafa kisi larki k liye itan serious hua hun.
4. Mai couzn se baat kr rat ha.
5 Tumhari ankhein…..
6. yr wo ldki mere piche padi hui thi
7. Mai dusre larko jaisa nhi
8. tumhari smile.
9. tm meri zindgi k pehli or akhri larki ho, mai nhi reh tmhre bina
Or num 10 dus
I luv u
Send to all Girls to warn dem n send to boys so dey can laugh cuz dey know its true…!.
11. Feel IT:
Success also hurts, when u don’t have a loved one to wish u..
Failure also looks beautiful, when u have a loved one to support u….
12. Look the sun its calling for u.
“open” ur
Listen the birds r singing for u.
But
Hear “My Heart”
Says “Lovely morning to U”.
13.Goldn wrds by h!tler:
“if u can’t fly , Run
If u Can’t Run , Walk
If u cant Walk, crawl..
Bt .. Keep moving
Santa: O taa thik ae Par Jana kithay hai?
14 agr koi hame achha lagta h toh
Acha won hi acche hum H.
.
.
Or
.
.
Agr koi hame bura lagta H
Toh.
.
.
.
.
Bura wahi H
Quki
Hum to ache Hai NA…J
15. Wen u count ur bes6t frnds, dnt count me,
Wen u count ur
Dnt count me.
But wen u really need a frnd,
START Countin from me..! tk cr.
16.Pani ki bund Bahut Choti lgti H
Pr Kahi 1 Pyasa Phool uska Intezar krta H
Usi trh 1 SmS chota lgta H
Pr bhejne wala apko dil se Yaad krta Hai.
17. Socha na tha kabhi aisi dosti hogi manzilo k sath rahein bi hasti hogi jannat ka khwab q dekhun?
Agar hum sare dost sath honge to nark me bhi masti hogi.
18.V nevr knw
Y we lik som ppl mor thn othrs..
Y v luv som ppl witout reasons
Y v feel hapy agtr being wth sme ppl bcoz
Som relatns hv no explanations!.
19.Boy: I luv U.
Tum dunya ki sab se khubsurat ladki ho
Girl : acho par tumhary peche mujh se bhi zayada haseen or kuhubsurat ladki khadi hai
Boy ne pechay dekha hai par waha koi nahi hota
Girl: agar tum such me pyar karte to kabhi pechy na dekhte I hate u
Moral: moral woral kuch nahi bus ladki zra tez nikli
Par msg abi baki hai
Boy chalo jaise tumhari marzi
Magar ab ye diamond ring mai kis ko du,
Girl : Lo!! Ab mai apne janu se mazak bhi nai kr sakti J
20. Ek gulaab matlab
I LOVE U,
Ek anguthi matlab.
I marry U,
Ek muskaan matlab.
I like U,
Lekin
Ek chhota sms matlab
I Miss U..
Or thanda Matlab
Or Garam Matlab
Ek vodka kam pani
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